Living the dream. How the beautiful game connects fathers and daughters.
Can you kick it?
Growing up in West Belfast in the 80s I always had a ball at my feet. There wasn’t much else to occupy our minds in the chaos. Makeshift nets using jumpers as goals posts and a soccer ball that resembled a half-peeled orange due to the leather it had shed brought real moments of happiness. Getting hit in the face when the ball was heavy through rainfall is how we developed resilience.
The love of football continued throughout my life as a player, coach, fan, and now a father of a competitive daughter. It was the summer of 2018 when the daughters indicated an interest in the game. I’ve no children who are males, so this brought real excitement.
Our local college was running a 6-week introduction to football for under 10s and I showed them the one-page flyer. Travelling down to the venue that evening I could see the nerves taking control.
Entering the hall, it didn’t get much better. Scanning the room, it’s full of boys. They were the only girls in the place. How would I get them to stay? Recognising the fear one of the coaches comes across and begins talking with them. Managing to calm them both down with some humour and words of encouragement we negotiate remaining in this session and judging their feelings at the end. Managing to win a penalty competition was a welcomed plus point. Applause from the parents and the smiles on their faces, when they received their medals, were a joy to witness. Leaving the building one of them asked:
“Daddy, can I join a team”?
“Of course,” was a hasty reply.
Welcome to the club.
Driving to the first training session was filled with questions. Luckily for me, I knew one of the coaches and the daughter went to school with some of the players. This helped calm the nerves as the coach began his session. Strolling around the outside of the pitch and nodding as you pass other parents or stopping to engage in those early conversations you can’t help but feel part of something.
Observing your children develop healthy connections and establish new friendships is a crucial part of their life transitions. I’ve got a lot of respect for coaches who spend time allowing this to grow. In these early years of participation, the game is all about fun, enjoyment, and freedom.
Now let’s get into the business of what playing means. Outside of the travelling costs, venue hire, referees, training/match kits, footwear, and branded add-ons the rules of communication change dramatically.
I’m adding you to the group chat.
When I was growing up team selection, fixtures, results, and goal scorers were scribbled onto a piece of paper or accessed via Teletext. As technology progressed and the use of smartphones exploded, we now have the benefits of WhatsApp chats. This is the equivalent of sky sports in your hand. Here you will find commentary, analysis, video replays, team news, geo-tagged venues, results, fixtures, kit colours, and my favourite - notifications. Jesus wept; the pings are never-ending. I hear them in my sleep.
What makes it worse is that you now expect announcements at specific periods throughout the week, or questions from confused and irate parents will be posted. We’ve all been there. The football-mad daughters only exacerbate matters with carefully scripted and very focused questions. How did 15-year-olds start controlling the narrative? These are strange times!
Game day arrives.
I don’t know who is more excited. Match days are what I live for. After the fixture and team news is posted and the daughter has gone full Gary Neville on the NI Football App, I believe we know everything about the opposition. Preparation begins the evening before. Match kit, boots, grip socks (the latest fashion trend) shin pads, water, and the sports bag all await. We set off the Snapchat maps are activated. Where are all my teammates at present?
This app is amazing. Do you remember wacky races? You can participate in it live while driving to a game venue. We exit the vehicle, and she joins the rest of the squad for the warmup. Time to chat with the fathers who give their time in making this dream a reality. We all have our reasons. However, after speaking with some of them in the research for this story we all have commonalities that unite us. The views from the side-lines.
“Helping her fulfil her dreams and passions in life.”
“You feel your heart get that little bit bigger every time they smile while on the pitch.”
“Supporting them to reach their potential.”
“Pride when she excels.”
“Satisfaction that they are doing something they love.”
“Free time away from the missus.”
The conversations with other fathers as we reminiscence about periods of our lives while kicking every ball always leave me walking away with a smile on my face. The car journey home even if we lost does not dampen my spirits. Football is a great leveller for conversations. Finding a tribe is part of the human experience. Fathers who bond over the sport are one of the easiest ways to establish rapport and build friendships. I spend more time communicating with people I share the touchline with on match days than people I’ve known for 20 years. There’s a learning in that somewhere.
How long is left?
When the daughter began playing in 2018 the sport was beginning to gain more traction across the globe. The attendance at last year’s European Championships rivalled the men’s game with a full house packed into Wembley Stadium for the final. The FIFA World Cup 2023 is predicting an estimated 2 billion viewers 2023 FIFA Women’s World Cup — Wikipedia for this year’s competition.
Andrea Ekblad, Head of Women’s Football at Dazn states;
“I believe that this is the most dynamic period ever for professional women’s football. And it’s happening now. And it’s also now unstoppable.”
The growth of women’s football as seen by World Football Summit speakers — World Football Summit
Reflecting on my own daughter’s journey over the past 5 years I can’t help but feel inspired. She is a real student of the sport. Lives breathes and consumes it at every opportunity. The game helps instil respect, discipline, the adaption of healthy habits, managing adversities, and forming connections that will last long after I have left this earth. I’m grateful to share part of this journey and experience with her.
